Parenting Communication 101: The Productive Way to Speak to Your Child
After swiping my credit card at Harris Teeter, the following question appeared on the screen, “Is this amount okay?”
Smiling at the cashier I replied no, it’s not ok, I would like it to be less. :)
In parenting, our questions can also be ambiguous. And often, a statement is needed instead of a question.
1. Would you like to get a bath? When we ask that question we need to be prepared for no.
Instead, speak assertively and look your child in the eye and say, “Child’s Name, it’s time for bath.”
2. Did you spill this drink? If you know your child spilled the drink, then don’t make it a trick question, just have him be responsible for cleaning it up.
Instead state what you want, “Here’s a paper towel.” This sends the message that mistakes are for learning.
3. Why did you put your bag here?!?
Instead, give a statement and tell him clearly what you want him to do, “Put your bag on the hook.”
4. Would you be quiet?
Instead, respectfully state what you want and give helpful information. “Take this loud noise outside or use an indoor voice. A 10 is an outdoor voice and I need a 5 or less if you choose to stay inside.”
5. Do I need to stand in between you two? Be prepared for hearing, I’m not sure, do you?
Instead validate feelings, empathize or give an I-message.
6. Would you mind liking my Facebook page and new website?