“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.” -Gandhi
Do you believe your children can make you mad without your permission?
Do you believe your children are responsible for calming you down?
When you feel angry, overwhelmed, mad, frustrated, sad, or disappointed, check to see what you are thinking, and notice if your thoughts created those feelings. And then carefully check for any blaming language.
“You two are driving me nuts!”
“You are making me mad.”
“If you do that one more time I am going to scream!”
When you are feeling upset, own it. Push your pause button and breathe. Say to yourself, “I feel angry and it is okay.”
Anger is a signal that something needs to change, so breathe through those uncomfortable feelings.
Ask yourself what needs to stop or start happening?
So instead of giving your power away or implying that your child is responsible for your upset feelings, replace the blaming language with respectful clear statements.
“This noise needs to stop. Play loudly outside or quietly inside.”
“I am feeling frustrated that the table hasn’t been set. Set the table now because we are ready to eat. Thank you.”
“I feel overwhelmed when book bags and shoes are left all over the floor. Put your book bag and shoes where they belong.
