Gail The Parenting Coach
How to Handle an Opportunity to Discipline Your Child
Your child shows up with a broken phone and now you have to make a choice - what would you think, say, or do? Would you treat this as an opportunity to discipline your child or would you react negatively?
When triggered and upset with your children you may say something like…
Really, are you kidding me! You’re grounded!
How many times do I need to tell you to be careful!
You are so careless!!
I told you this was going to happen!
When we believe that mistakes are opportunities to learn lessons, and when our intent as parents is to discipline, rather than to punish, then when our children make mistakes, we are more likely to take some deep breaths, listen and offer empathy, and allow the consequences to do the screaming, and not us.
Discipline means learning to take responsibility for our behavior and the consequences.
Allow children to own their own problems and be responsible for solving them. If we fix our children’s problems, we’re robbing them of opportunities to be responsible.
Discipline means understanding there are logical consequences for our behaviors. Maybe our child will learn what it feels like to live without a phone? Maybe our child will learn what it feels like to save money to buy a phone?
Discipline means learning to wait for what we want.
Allow children to wait until they can buy a new phone, or wait until a special celebration like a birthday or Christmas.
Discipline means being willing to work for and toward what we want.
Maybe the child could work at a job, or jobs around the house, to buy another phone if he really wants another one.
Discipline means learning and practicing new behaviors. Children then learn to be more aware and more careful how he handles the phone.